More on my Attachment style: Anxious- Preoccupied

3 insecure attachment styles:  My Attachment style: Anxious- Preoccupied

My youth: 

Conditioned to us between 0-2 years old : this is when the attachment style is created/developed 

grows up with a lot of warmth and care, but

Core wounds,: I will be abandoned (I will abandon myself in order to please others) , I will be alone, I will be excluded, disliked, rejected, not good enough, not safe ; Trigger: when people pull away 

Core needs: reassurance, validation, encouragement, support,  to be seen and heard certainty, and consistency. In order to heal: I need to repetitively give this stuff to myself now, by giving those things to myself I learn to self-soothe

 Abandonment wounds, panic when partner pulls away- this pushes people away ; struggle with getting people to commit and stick around. 

Don't communicate feelings, show emotions

It's so difficult to self soothe, try to maintain closeness with others and physical touch is a primary love language. 

Me now: 

You may feel as though you’re “less than” others. The low sense of self-esteem associated with the anxious attachment style often results in feelings of not being good enough. 

You self-sacrifice and put the needs of others first. This is often due to a lack of sense of self and your own needs. 

Due to an inconsistent formative period, you may feel as though you’re unworthy of love. Thus, you seek external validation and reassurance from others in an attempt to prove to yourself that you deserve love.

 You struggle with being single or alone for periods of time. Relationships and intimacy are strongly connected with an anxious attacher’s feelings of self-worth, therefore you may crave attention and try to impress others in an attempt to get it. 

You are caring and kind to your partner’s needs. However, because you may become preoccupied with catering to your partner’s wants, they may end up feeling as though they need space from the relationship. 

You fear rejection and criticism. Thus, you may become highly upset at any form of disapproval from your partner. 

You are attentive to your loved ones - almost to a fault. Others may end up taking advantage of your kind and generous nature

You are hypervigilant towards any threat to your relationships. 

Due to your fear of rejection and need for intimacy, you may overanalyze all of your partner’s actions, but yet misinterpret fundamental problems in the relationship. 

Due to a lack of self agency, you may struggle with making decisions and instead rely on a partner to do so. 

You may act clingy and needy towards your partner if they attempt to spend time with others outside of your relationship. What’s more, you might experience intense feelings of jealousy and frustration if they do so